The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck was first published in 1978, and undoubtedly was to some degree, ahead of its time.. The title is so memorable that whenever I mention the book to clients and friends there is almost universal recognition, especially amongst the younger baby boomer generation who came of age during this period. However most people, even those who know of the book, really don’t know (or remember) what it is about. Many of those who first read the book over 30 years ago were perhaps not ready to hear and understand the power of its message. That was certainly true for me.
So now, at age 55, I reread this great book and it may have as well been the first time for how incredibly fresh and meaningful I found it. The book is divided into four main sections: Discipline, Love, Religion and Grace. Each section builds upon the others and feels so psychologically sound and relevant that I found myself quickly bringing aspects into my work with my clients.
The importance of having the discipline to do what is difficult applies to the work of therapy, relationships and all aspects of personal growth. Discipline includes the ability to avoid procrastination and face difficult situations. Discipline includes knowing when it is time to give up outdated concepts of ourselves in order to grow, Discipline also includes being able to face the truth even when the truth is painful to hear.
Understanding that real love is about caring about the growth of your loved one, rather than about what that person can give to you, may seem obvious to some, but to most people, it is a foreign concept. The popular view of love is that the “other” completes us. Dr. Peck challenged this conception and explains that this isn’t real love, but unhealthy dependence. Only when someone can stand whole in themselves and be fully capable of self-love, can they be capable of receiving love from another, or be full enough to give love to another.
The section on religion surprised me as it was not a unidimensional argument for the importance of (or against) believing in a particular faith, but rather the importance of understanding what it is that we do believe in. What we choose to believe or reject is such a fundamental aspect of our world view on life, death and meaning, that we need to be overt about its importance. This is true regardless of whether our faith is in God or in science or something else entirely. We may need to grow by being willing to reject our childhood force-fed notions of religion, or we may need to grow by being open to new interpretations. The key is that whatever we choose is just that, our choice of what is right for us, not someone else’s hand-me-down values.
I won’t be able to begin to do justice to the section on grace other than to say that as the most spiritually oriented part of the book, it is both illuminating and thought provoking. It clearly represents Dr. Peck’s world view and may not resonate with everyone in its entirety, but I suspect that aspects will be meaningful to most people.
If you haven’t read this great book as a mature adult or never read it at all, please do yourself the great personal service of discovering its value. I don’t think you will be disappointed!
