Has Infidelity Damaged Your Marriage Or Relationship?
Are you struggling to come to terms with an unfaithful spouse or partner and want to make sense out of the anger and shock? Are you feeling wounded or punished and want to know how and why this could happen to you and your relationship? Perhaps you feel as if you can no longer trust your partner after an affair and want to learn how to have faith in your union again. Or maybe you doubt the certainty of your future partnership and wonder if trying to fix things is even worth it. Alternately, maybe you are the unfaithful party, and now you cannot forgive yourself, let alone believe your partner could forgive you. Are you are still deeply in love and want to repair your relationship, but need help coping with infidelity and navigating the confusion, grief and regret? Do you wish you could move through the resentment, guilt or pain and mend your relationship – or know if it is time to let go and move on?
Though Not Uncommon, An Affair Can Leave You Feeling Isolated And Alone
All relationships have their challenges, and most issues, when confronted in a healthy manner, can be repaired. Attention and a dedication to each other’s needs and the partnership’s needs form the foundation of any strong marriage. However, most people were never taught how to build and maintain healthy relationships, and without a proper model to learn from, it can be difficult to teach yourself. In fact, children raised in an environment affected by infidelity are more likely to engage in an affair as adults. And while other influences, such as temptation and feeling undesirable, unappreciated or unloved play a part, it’s important to understand that infidelity is often indicative a problem greater and more profound than a wasteful act of betrayal.
Usually, infidelity has less to do with a lack of affection and more about issues in the relationship that were never resolved or even acknowledged. It’s estimated that over 20 percent of relationships suffer from an act of infidelity. But, in nearly every instance, the result of a sexual or even emotional affair severely damages a relationship leaving the victim feeling tormented, crushed and alone. When children become part of the equation, infidelity can have additionally dire consequences for their development and the future of the family unit. The good news is that with a skilled and compassionate marriage counselor, recovering from infidelity and learning to trust again is possible.
Marriage Counseling After Infidelity Can Help You Cultivate Inner Peace, Strength And Forgiveness
For those navigating an affair in a marriage or relationship, the road to recovery can be especially confusing and painful. The sense of betrayal, anger, trauma and grief can be overwhelming. You might feel a loss of faith in yourself or worry that you are weak for wanting to make things work again. Or, you may just want to end the relationship and move on. No matter how you’re feeling right now, counseling can help you find validation in your suffering, empower you to make rational, informed decisions and can offer you and your family an opportunity to heal.
In couples counseling sessions, I always provide a compassionate and non-judgmental environment for exploration and discussion. Ultimately, I regard your relationship or marriage as my client. As such, I will never blame one person and instead focus on saving the partnership. Counseling also provides you with a safe place in which to express your emotions and get everything out into the open so that the needs of both people are supported.
If you are trying to repair the marriage, I can teach you and your spouse how to navigate the storm of emotions and understand that infidelity recovery is a process – that you have to work through the pain and guilt before positive change happens. If you both wish to end the marriage and move on, I can offer you ways to exit the relationship in a dignified manner so that divorce proceedings do not get emotionally or financially nasty.
In the case that you are the unfaithful party seeking individual therapy, I can help you understand that although the behavior was wrong, you are not necessarily a bad person. Similarly, in individual sessions, if you have been the victim of infidelity, I will focus on your pain and suffering, helping you to realize that the trauma you feel is normal as I help guide you though it.
The process of marriage counseling after infidelity can make your relationship more connected and resilient than it was before. Just as a broken bone heals to become stronger than ever, your marriage and family’s unity can become stronger as well. By acknowledging the effects of infidelity, examining the contributing factors and resolving those issues that led up to it, you and your partner can rebuild your family, develop a new mutual trust and find forgiveness.
I am considering going to a marriage counselor, but I still have some concerns…
I am so angry that I don’t even know if the relationship is worth saving.
The emotional trauma and torment you are experiencing is completely justified and normal. The stress of coping with infidelity on your own can add more frustration and pain for you, your spouse and your family. Together, we can work through your grief and in the process, you can develop healthy coping mechanisms that won’t lead to impulsive, emotionally charged decisions that could have a negative impact on your marriage, family and finances.
This is not the first time this has happened—why should I try again?
The truth is, people don’t cheat because they want to be bad people or cause pain. Affairs are often the result of something lacking or going unaddressed in the relationship. I can help you understand the roots of your or your partner’s unfaithfulness and offer you healthy options for saving your relationship—or moving on. If you are still with someone after surviving an affair, it’s a good indication that you still have hope for the relationship. And if you have children, saving a marriage can be particularly crucial. Marriage counseling can help you make the healthiest decision for yourself and your loved ones.
I already know that I want out, so why consider marriage counseling after infidelity?
Counseling can help you exit your relationship in a graceful and amicable manner, easing the financial and social resolution that must follow. Because lawyers and mediators may be the next step in your separation, having the relationship end in a constructive way will help mitigate the damage caused by it. Couples counseling can help calm or even prevent the anger and conflict that can accompany a divorce and instead bring peace and a sense of closure to both partners.
You Don’t Have To Suffer Through The Turmoil Of An Affair Alone
Recovering from infidelity is possible. Please call, text or email me to set up a free 15-30 minute phone or in-person consultation. I would be honored to discuss the details of your concerns and needs and answer any questions you may have about marriage counseling after infidelity and my practice.